Alarm Clocks … And Why They Deserve a Slow Death

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I hate getting up in the morning. There is nothing worse than being aroused from a pleasant slumber with the world’s forces demanding I leave my sanctuary of soft mattress, fortress of pillows, and the perfect set of sheets that took me months to find. And what rocks me from the desperate sleep that I need? An evil invention. Small, but oh so loud and annoying. You may know it as the alarm clock.

Now, I’m not opposed to a device that gets me up when I need to. I’m very punctual that way, but I do have a beef with the sound guy. Whoever thought a high pitched clanging bell or buzz was a good idea should be left on a deserted island surrounded by those buzzers with no off switch in sight.

Of course we can’t rid our lives of alarm clocks, that would be silly. No one would get to work on time, which means no paycheck, which means no rainy day stash for that new pair of shoes that you absolutely have to have despite no outfit in the closet to go with them. So I have a few suggestions on how to improve this little device and hopefully turn my love/hate relationship with them into one of pure joy.

 

  • The Bacon Sizzler

Plug this baby in the night before and at your designated time, it turns on and cooks you up a delicious platter of sizzling bacon. Crispy, burnt, thin, or thick cut, the sumptuous aroma will rouse you to a morning worth getting up for. The options are up to you. Who wouldn’t leap out of bed for bacon?!

  • A BeagleIMAG0001

A wet nose, wagging tail, and slobbery kisses are just about the cutest thing you can wake up to. The plus side to this option is the call of nature that forces you up to let them out. I prefer a beagle baby, but the breed is entirely your choice.

  • A Sigh Worthy Crooner

I’m a sucker for a man who can sing. Frank Sinatra, Josh Groban, Michael Buble, or my latest voice crush Ramin Karimloo. Take your pick. I’d be a happy woman waking up to any of these gentlemen singing sweet nothings at the foot of my bed.


A to Z blog hop at Patterings.



19 Comments

  1. Diana Lesire Brandmeyer

    Bacon!!!!
    Blessings,
    Diana

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      That’s what I’m saying, Diana!

      Reply
  2. Tom Threadgill

    I have a dog. It’s not her “call of nature” that gets me up in the morning. 🙂

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Dare I ask what she does do to get you up?

      Reply
  3. Patty Wysong

    LoL. I’m with you on the buzzer alarms. Hate those things but they are effective. Pretty soon you’ll have a different alarm clock, too. The baby alarm is ultra effective. 😉

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Oh Patty. Don’t remind me. I’m trying to get all the sleep I can now before my new alarm clock arrives!

      Reply
  4. Susan Craft

    My alarm sounds like Big Ben, and the longer I let it ring the louder it gets. I think there are other sound choices on the clock, but as with computers, I’m technologically challenged. I’ll tackle it some day!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      This is exactly why we need bacon to wake us up. No clanging, just deliciousness!

      Reply
  5. Barbara Lynn Culler

    I love the thought of waking up to a crooner- how about Andrea Bocelli! <3 My cat wakes me up around 5am with howling and running all over the room-his nails clicking against the laminate flooring. I don't need to be up that early!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Animals never have respect for proper sleep, do they? I know mine doesn’t.

      Reply
  6. Joanne Sher

    I could definitely handle the bacon thing (though I’m not sure what my arteries would think! LOL). I’m an early riser by nature, so rarely have to use an alarm. But when I do, I am NOT a happy camper 😉 Fun post!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      I think life is too short to worry about counting calories. I suppose if you’re worried about arteries then you can throw in a cookie baker every once in a while 🙂

      Reply
  7. Nancy K. Sullivan

    I’m with you all the way on this one! I’m a night owl by nature and some of the C & W music my husband has on our radio alarm is not my idea of a soft wake up call. It does, however, get the job done because I actually have to move to find the “off” button! I’ll take the romance you mentioned any day, any “time.” Fun post 🙂

    Reply
  8. Kristi Peifer

    Don’t forget Harry Connick, Jr.!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Of course! The more the merrier!

      Reply
  9. Karla Akins

    I use my phone for an alarm and I have it on ducks quacking. It’s annoying but not as unpleasant as a real alarm. It makes me giggle. Waking up giggling is a great way to start a day. But I’m with you on the Beagle. I’ll take one, please! (I do have three dogs that also wake me if I don’t hear my phone. The biggest one paws me until I move!)

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Ducks would be so cute to wake up to!

      Reply
  10. Dora Hiers

    lol, great post, J’nell! I’m so with you. I’m like Karla that I use my phone with a less annoying wake-up call, but my golden usually beats the alarm. He’d opt for breakfast over nature’s call. 🙂

    Congrats on your newest family addition!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Dogs. Gotta love them!

      Reply

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