Join the Crew

pirate crew

 

Personality? Check. Good teeth? Of course. Witty? Beyond belief. Bathes regularly? Double check. Computer skills? Sufficient. These are all things you need to score a job. Ok, maybe not good teeth, but having a set of pearly whites never turned off a potential employer. Unless you’re a marauding captain looking for a motley crew in which case personal hygiene is optional. Something tells me all that filth and gum disease would form a cloud of disguise around you to sneak up on unsuspecting victims easier. Kinda like an evil Pig-Pen. So what does it take to join up with a pirating crew? Well, a little more finesse than you would imagine. Ask yourself these questions:

-Am I weapon worthy? Each man being considered for recruitment had to have a pistol, pirate-weaponsblackpowder, shot, and a sword at minimum. Those with additional weapons were moved to the front of the line. And of course you had to know how to wield those bad boys as they weren’t just for show.

-Do I have mad skills? Believe it or not, pirates were practical men. They got hungry, sick, and lost at sea. To alleviate these problems they recruited a good many doctors, cooks, carpenters, musicians, and the most highly coveted navigator. And when I say recruited I mean forced. If no one stepped forward then merciless interrogations would begin until someone finally flushed out the man of profession. If the professional was feeling particularly benevolent, he would often step forward without a fuss to prevent the rest of his friends from the interrogations of whippings, hangings, and being thrown overboard. Very considerate.

-Am I desperate? It’s not easy being a man of the sea. Long hours, wind and rain, chapped lips, and the constant threat of scurvy. So when a pirate ship attacked another vessel they were quick to offer their fellow brethren of the sea a chance to go a pirating. Pirating or keelhauling. Em, I choose pirating.cat of nine tails

– Do I have a death wish? You have to admit that joining a pirate crew takes a certain amount of bravado. A devil may care attitude, if you will. And that’s what it takes. With the constant threat of battle, enemy attacks, an irate captain willing to pull out the cat o’ nine tails, and the law breathing down your neck, the mortality rate for a pirate was high.

What do you think? Are you signing up for the next Jolly Roger to sail past your house, or do you feel more called to a 9 to 5 job? See the world or stare at a cubicle? Fresh wind in your hair or stale coffee in the pot? A musket or a ballpoint pen? Going home to watch Duck Dynasty or walking the plank into shark infested waters? Dear reader, the choice is yours.


A to Z blog hop at Patterings.

12 Comments

  1. Tom Threadgill

    I have a very low threshold for pain, so I’m going to have to pass on Duck Dynasty. Good post as always, J’nell! Argh.

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      So you’re saying Duck Dynasty gives you pain? Oh dear. Better stay away from the pirates for sure.

      Reply
  2. Barbara Lynn Culler

    As much as I love the ocean- I will keep my regular job-thank you!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      I’m with you Barbara. My fair skin doesn’t do so well in the sun so I’ll be stayed land bound for a while.

      Reply
  3. Patty Wysong

    LoL. Love this, J’nell. The boring side of me says stay home. The wild child in me says GO! LoL. hmmmm. Is there another option? YES!! I’ll read your books and have the best of both worlds. 🙂 🙂

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      I know what you mean. I’m a big fan of routine and stability and I seriously doubt the open seas offers that. I think the only option that will suite both is a cruise ship. And at least they have air conditioned rooms and plenty of fruit for no scurvy! I really like your idea of just reading my books for the adventure 🙂

      Reply
  4. Dora Hiers

    Can you imagine living during those days? Sheesh! What am I saying? We still have pirates now. Can’t wait to read your books, J’Nell!

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Isn’t it amazing how we manage to romanticize rotting teeth and peg legs? I’m definitely glad I live now and not then as I value running water and candy bars too much. I can’t wait for you read them either 😉

      Reply
  5. Diana Lesire Brandmeyer

    LOL when put like that one must pick the more exciting route…stare at a cubicle wall…wait, I kind of do that since I stare at my own wall while thinking of what to write next.
    Blessings,
    Diana

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      I do the same exact thing with my walls. Only it’s more like avoiding housework in the name of waiting for inspiration to strike. I find chocolate helps the process along.

      Reply
  6. Joanne Sher

    Put me down as another one who wants to live the pirate life vicariously through your books! What a fabulous post. LOVE your stuff, as usual. Always learn something here.

    Reply
    1. J'nell (Post author)

      Will do! Looks like we’re all a bunch of homebodies who prefer to explore via written word. So happy to hear you loved it!

      Reply

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